Self-coaching, for self-empowerment-

through a systematic process. 


The concept of self evokes a multitude of perceptions in the nature of our state of being. Ultimately, in the final analysis, all these perceptions lead to the notion of identity. Furthermore, our realization of such identity is in relation to others, also with that same realization. As Erik H. Erikson states, “The conscious feeling of having a personal identity is based on two simultaneous observations: the immediate perception of one’s and continuity in time; and the simultaneous perception of the fact that others recognize one’s sameness and continuity.”[1]

Nonetheless, no matter what we think or how we view this being, we must have a ground upon which to present this self. In other words, a means for recognizing this self, and make it known to others. Through eons of evolution, we have come to realize this platform as mind, sometimes referred to as consciousness, self-consciousness, or states of awareness. Here, I must admit that Erikson does make a distinction between personal identity and ego identity. However, if we are to accept that the ego, as put forward by Freud, is the conscious’s aspect, represented by the rational I, which in turn is the mind. Then I see no distinction between personal identity and ego identity. And I further asset that personal identity is merely a reflection in the quality and characteristic of the nature of mind. In other words, one cannot claim to have an identity without first having a mind. Thus the relation between identity and mind is comparable to looking at your reflection in a mirror. Your awareness of the reflection is mind, and the reflection is identity. Although this is a physical comparison with an abstract concept, all our experiences, of cognition and sensation, are realized by means of that physical body.

“Mind is the instrument by which man advances, and by which each advance is secured and made the vantage ground for new advances. (….) Mental power is, therefore, the motor of progress, and men tend to advance in proportion to the mental power expended in progression—the mental power which is devoted to the extension of knowledge, the improvement of methods, and the betterment of social condition.”[2] If mind is the instrument by which we advance, therefore the more mental power we posses, the greater will be our progress. However, by what means do we acquire such mental power? It is in that notion of progress through mental power that the process of Fessings finds its root.

The idea for this process derives from the many questions I have received from friends, relatives, associates, and friends of friends that; at the core of their concerns, is an Issue that dominates the present condition of their lives. It appears that, what stood in their way of finding solution, was the lack of full understanding in the circumstances of their experiences.

Fortunately, most of the questions asked, were easily solved; simply by attentive listening and careful observation. But the greater discovery is that after exploring an Issue, in most cases, the person realizes that they could have resolved the difficulties themselves; if only they had devoted a moment of internal dialogue on the Issue. Following my approach, some took matter into their own hands, and explore their Issues. Consequently, these individuals got better and called me less. However, for a few others, no matter what, they were still confronted with Issues. And too often, it would be the same difficulty in different Issues. For these individuals it was necessary to have dissected an Issue into its different emotional and rational components, before some understanding to arrive at a possible solution.

It is out of these situations that I recognize the need for a systematic approach by which one can explore the difficulties in their psyche, so that they could maximize their potential for greater enjoyment in life. Hence after years of attentive listening and careful observation of others and myself, as well as studying and researching, through psychology, religion, philosophy and other disciplines, comes the insight that gives birth to the process of Fessings. Through my observation, I realized there were certain key concepts that keep surfacing again and again, usually, with an attitude. To formulate this process, I then select 10 categories (Apology, Blessing, Confession, Forgiveness, Hate, Love, Regrets, Thank you, Wishes, My-fess) that seem to be the path through which most Issues could be resolved, and fashioned them with a style of attitude, that represent the level and type of awareness in the Issue.

The attempt, here, through the process of Fessings is to provide the means by which you can carve your own path to success, in accordance with your will and desire. For through Fessings you acquire the mental capacity and become the master of circumstances in your daily life. One develops this ability through acquiring a greater understanding, in the nature of attitudes and the factors of awareness. As Karen Horney states, In Our Inner Conflicts, “The predominant attitude, however, is the one that most strongly determines actual conduct. It represents those ways and means of coping with others in which the particular person feels most at home.”[3] So then, to understand these attitudes and their root cause, most definitely gives the person some control over the outcomes in the circumstances of their lives. Indeed, this is a continuous development of Human Capital, with lasting values, through out your life. In Fessings, such gain into the mastery of self is viewed as the platform of prosperity that with continuous effort will leads to the fulfillment of your desires.


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[1] Erik H. Erikson; Identity and the Life Cycle (W. W. Norton & Company. New York. London, 1994) p.22

[2] Henry George; Progress and Poverty, (Robert Schalkenbach Foundation. 1997) p. 507

[3] Karen Horney, M.D., Our Inner Conflicts, (W. W. Norton & Company. New York, London, 1945) p. 43